Jeff Cup 2012: I'm kind of a big deal.



I don't fix dropped chains with my face, but I always end up looking that way...

There are two ways to finish a race alone: one is glorious, and the other is well...what you make of it.  Speaking of twos, coming into Jefferson Cup, I had identified two acceptable outcomes to keep me on the racing/training bandwagon: 1. to have a good enough finish that I'd be excited to keep racing, or 2. to have a frustrating enough finish that I'd be excited to keep racing.  Let's just say I finished alone, and I achieved one of those acceptable outcomes...

That's right ladies, I took my first DFL, and it was glorious.  I had my own moto, my own pace car (OK it was probably just some random family on their way to return curtains at Pottery Barn, since I was outside of the rolling enclosure), and my own photographers (I think the people snapping up shots thought I was off the front of the next race, but whatever). 

Here's how this monumental finish occurred: we started really slow, and I got all spooked every time the pack would bunch up.  I thought about quitting bike racing, this time even cooking up some specific plans on what I might do for exercise instead.  The pace picked up in the last 20 miles, and I was briefly excited about racing.  Then with 2k to go, without even shifting, I somehow dropped my chain and couldn't pedal it back on.  I hopped off and fixed it, then executed the most glorious solo finish ever, hauling ass as if I might catch the pack.  I briefly considered stopping short of the finish line to avoid the DFL in favor of a DNF, but 2012 is not about vanity.  It's about being the Lanterne Rouge and liking it, so I sprinted through the finish line like the big deal that I am.  Seriously though, the ABRT women ripped everyone's legs off and made it a great race.  Really amazing work.  Now to get this chain grease off my face...

The R Word

Every good housewife knows that months containing the letter R are good for two things: oysters, and long zone 2 rides.  Well, I plan to live it up since we've only got one R month left, and for many of us cyclists, that other R-word has already started.  You know the word I mean, the one that gives you jitters and compels you to spend your whole paycheck on wheels.  

Goodbye delicious bivalves, hello anaerobic efforts...

I can't even say the word, not because it gives me jitters or an upset stomach, or any of that other stuff that means you actually care.  I just hate the R word.  I resent it so much that I want to quit.  Last year I gave it everything: all of my vacation time, resources, relationships, certain uses of my left arm, and a good chunk of my frontal lobe.  In return, the R word gave me a few good results, some badass-looking pictures from moments that I can't even remember, and some fitness that I proceeded to throw down the drain in October.  So the R word can screw off.  The problem is, exercise is important, and instead of quitting this whole cycling thing and switching to another liberal elite endurance sport that I will eventually resent just as much, I might as well continue to flounder along in the one for which I have accumulated all this fancy equipment.

Anyway, I guess I'll figure out what there is about the R word that I can still look forward to, since it's fast-approaching and I can't expect (nor do I want badly enough to try for) the same results as last year.  So here are some side effects of the R word that are undeniably awesome:

• Road trips with friends
• Coffee
• Rocking out to your warmup mixtape
• Chillaxing with your cooldown mixtape
• Recovery shakes 
• Strange tan lines that make you feel special in some misunderstood way
• Philly water ice (trust me there are more justifiable opportunities for consuming sugar if you R than if you don't R)

OK, hopefully those reasons are enough to keep me on the R word wagon, and if all else fails, I think my parents have a pair of my old rollerblades sitting in their basement.  Renewing UCI water ice license in 3, 2, 1...

I've Made It in Life

I named her Sheena, and yes, she is a punk rocker.

One of the many lists in my head contains criteria for having "arrived" at some great place in life.  It's full of normal desirable things, like "home ownership," "feel good about myself," "petting zoo," and other stuff, both thing- and relationship-related.  Realistically, I figured the achievement of any one criterion would be good enough to count as "living the dream."  And since 2012 is all about making definitive and unsupported claims, I'll just come out and say it: I've made it. I got a time trial bike. 

I went to Elite yesterday to discuss the distant possibility of getting one.  You know, so we could figure out the ideal dimensions, in abstract preparation for riding off into the sunset on my aero machine, next to my life partner, a pink magenta unicorn.  So when I got to the shop, David and Max had mocked up a bike.  It was sparkly.  I got on it and pedaled, and they intermittently switched things out- saddles, aerobars, spacers, etc.  Since the mockup had no shifters, I was at Max's mercy to put the chain into a reasonable cog...ouch!  The whole time people were coming in and out of the shop...my buddy Alfonso, my dear friend Ashdizzle.  Elite is like Cheers, except instead of being like, "Heyyyyy buddy," you're choking out some meager greeting as Max puts you into a harder gear or David makes you do some difficult therapeutic exercises.  Anyway, I had no expectation of getting a TT bike right away, but the fit was perfect.  But since 2012 is all about doing whatever I want, when I want, I'm not actually sure that the achievement of this "monumental goal" is really that important.  Maybe the more remarkable part is the amazing and knowledgeable friends who helped make this happen.  Or maybe it's just the sparkly paint...

Recovery Eats: Green Eggs & Yam

I recently posted about an ongoing recovery crisis, and how the timing of athletic training could affect muscle repair.  With more careful adherence to the "recovery clock,"...well ok, and adding a week of unplanned recovery to my schedule, things are getting better.  After some improvement from these schedule tweaks, but still unprecedented soreness, yep, and the workouts I'm doing are NOT unprecedented so I still attribute this to getting old, I thought I'd take a more rigorous look at recovery nutrition:

This study showed a decrease in perceived soreness and an increase in power for athletes who took in protein and carbs directly after a workout, and 24 hours later.  So it sounds like the timing of short-term recovery nutrition is similar to the timing of rest that was suggested in the last post.  I also wanted to know if all proteins and carbs are created equal.  And to prevent wasting your time, I'll let you know that I didn't find a definitive study on the single "best" protein and carb for recovery.  So stop reading now.  Anyway, now that no one is reading, note to self, here are the recipes for those yummy but oddly colored treats you recently made:

I would did like them
in a house with a mouse

Green Egg Tacos: 23g protein/240 calories
Mix this up and cook it like scrambled eggs:

• 4 egg whites (high  PDCAAS )
• 1.5 tbsp algae powder, like spirulina or chlorella (these are also "complete proteins" and contain essential fatty acids)
• 2 tbsp water
• Salt & pepper
• Serve with 2 sprouted corn tortillas (sprouting promotes enzymatic activity, makes amino acids more available, and promotes alkalinity)
• Hot sauce (delicious on food, and decent as embrocation on your legs)

Not recommended for
embrocation or topical
application in general...
unless you're John Boehner
and have run out of spray tan

Orange Yamsicle Shake: 20g protein/277 calories
Put this all in a blender:

• 1 scoop plain whey protein (high PDCAAS, and faster amino breakdown than casein, the other protein in milk)
• 1c baked yam, skin removed and saved for a salad or something (yam promotes alkalinity and contains potassium)
• 1/2 tsp ginger paste or 1/4 tsp dried ginger
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• Some stevia (or sweetener of choice)
• Some water and ice cubes

Linking to: Food Renegade Fight Back Friday

The Recovery Clock

I just finished up a recovery week, and this was the first one that I actually felt like I needed.  Last year, a recovery week  for me was this thing I had to do because Joe Friel said so, but it mostly consisted of endorphin withdrawal and dealing with those pesky once-a-month hassles, like calling my boyfriend or washing my hair.  I didn’t feel the need for a physical break, in spite of having once referred to a questionable limp after lifting…but considering I had just come from an upper body workout, that was probably just the old Post-Gym Gangster Walk.

Now things are different: I get really exhausted and sore after workouts, especially lifting.  A few explanations for this come to mind: A. I let myself get too out-of-shape in my extended downtime, B. I just wasn't going hard enough last year, C. I'm getting old and frail, or D. something about my nutrition is different this year.  OK, let's face the truth: It's probably everything but D.  I just compared yesterday's "food diary" entry to the same date a year ago, and the only difference is a new preference for single-celled algae over last year’s multi-cellular favorites (mostly due to a coupon…ooooh…I’m really pushing the limits of risk and change here). 

Whatever the reason for this soreness is,  it’s probably a good time to look at the science of recovery.  To determine how long this frustrating process has to take, I first looked at short-term recovery.  This study looked at muscle repair after heavy resistance workouts, and it concluded that protein synthesis peaks about 24 hours after ripping one’s legs to shreds, and returns to almost normal within 36 hours.  The authors recommend spacing tough workouts at least a day and a half apart to avoid messing with the rebuilding of busted-ass muscles.  This obviously can’t be observed all the time, due to stage race training, or if you’re one of those triathlon folk, but I suppose it’s a good way to get the most bang for your buck in terms of muscle repair.

For the long-term recovery stuff, I looked to my favorite training guru.  Friel recommends monthly recovery intervals of 5-7 days, to account for that annoying inverse relationship between fatigue and form.  Annually, he recommends one or two “transition” periods lasting from a few days to a few weeks, to rejuvenate the body and mind.  Hmmm…my mind apparently needed a lot of rejuvenation over the fall, so I guess I’m good on that for…um…a decade or so.

Keeping the Faith

No, I'm not going to write a whole post about the most awesome De La Soul song ever.  What I mean to discuss is how to stay on a training plan when things get tough (even though this blog is secretly about '90's hip hop and not really about cycling at all). 

Last year I worked with a coach to improve my sprint.  Once my sprint had improved, I was able to coach myself.  I noticed that some people use coaches to "babysit" them and ensure they'll do their workouts.  "Haha," I thought to myself, "I'll never need a babysitter like those clowns." 

One year later: HELP!  I NEED A BABYSITTER!  I know what to do, but this year I'm not motivated enough to stick with it.  A couple options came to mind to make myself accountable to other people:

1. Hire a coach.  Nope, too expensive, and besides, any resources I might have had for a coach have now been diverted to a therapist.  Maybe that will eventually address this motivational deficiency...
2. Make a training plan consisting of group exercise only.  Hmmm...that could be awesome if your goals are to win Philly's World Championships of Vino Velo group ride or become the bendiest person in Power Yoga class. 
3. Do all lifting workouts with a trainer.  OK, it would obviously be helpful to have someone stand there and yell “You suck," or "You’re a f***ing god,” (depending on whether you’re motivated by self-loathing or narcissism).  In the face of limited resources, I’ve found a good compromise to be a few instructional sessions with Lance, then to stay on his gym schedule once I’m doing the prescribed lifting on my own.  Just the threat of being caught slacking is pretty motivating, but I guess that means I'm stalking my trainer...
3. Acknowledge a deity.  Maybe the thought of some omniscient being (Spaghetti Monster, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy) could be motivating enough to make good choices.  This study found that children were 16% less likely to cheat on tests when told an invisible princess was watching.  OK, this might work assuming you have at least the mental capacity and discipline of a child, and that may not be the case for me...
4. Find some like-minded friends, and be accountable to each other.  OK, I can do that.  Thank you, Google Calendar.


So, to keep our nutrition on track, my friend Ashley and I are sharing a food diary.  And the occasional comment, like "hey man, you're definitely not getting scurvy today," is a motivating reminder that someone actually saw how many servings of grapefruit I ate that day.  It's a lot harder to make bad choices when you know someone's going to make fun of you for it later, although somehow I still manage to make my share of bad choices...

Workouts are being tracked too: several of us have shared training calendars and login info so we can check up on one another.  Is that slightly more work than paying for the "coach" edition and having everyone's workouts show up under one account?  Sure, but it's free, and we get to stick it to the man while monitoring each other's progress. 

So if you need a watchful eye to keep you on track but can't rely on a coach, group rides, or an invisible princess to make you do it, share your goals with your friends.  You're a lot more likely to achieve a goal that you've shared with someone else, and who knows what might happen; His Noodly Appendage often touches those who don't seek it...

Gettin' Crazy with the Cheez Whiz

Athletes must adjust their nutritional intake when the weather turns cold. Conventional changes might be to consume extra calories to account for thermal acclimation, to keep hydrating even if you don't feel thirsty, etc...but when the energy bar in your pocket is frozen solid, your sports drink has turned to slush in spite of the salt, and the Eagles are about to smash the Jets 45-19, it's time for a different source of sports nutrition: the Philly cheesesteak.

Careful, the whiz might drip on your shoe

This nutritional device has a lot to offer shivering athletes, from a high calorie content (that of 3.75 Clif Bars), lots of electrolytes (sodium equivalent of 5.5 Nuun tablets), and most importantly, textural stability at any temperature (thank you sodium alginate).  So before you chip a tooth on your frozen energy bar, just pedal to 9th and Passyunk in South Philly.  On Sunday Amy, Ky, and I ended an epic ride in 27-degree weather at Pat's, where our food demonstrated the thermal properties of a properly procured cheesesteak.  My "whiz witout” was such a textural marvel in spite of the sub-freezing temperatures, I couldn’t help but remark at how drippy it was.  I checked with Amy on her “whiz wit,” and that’s what she said too.  In the end, everyone was satisfied, even Ky with her silly provolone.

So with its nutritional abundance, option to add antioxidant superfood just by saying “wit,” and weather-defying texture, it almost seems like this sandwich was developed specifically for athletes. Is it a coincidence that a cheesesteak is the same diameter as that of a bottle cage?  I think not. 

Disclaimer: The above statements, although true, may not be helpful for the enhancement of body composition or...um...athletic performance whatsoever.  All nutritional comparisons based on information from livestrong.com, however the random sandwich in their picture is not a proper cheesesteak.

This is not a cry for help

It doesn't have to be, at least, because I'm feeling somewhat better.  After road season I took a break from training.  It was awesome.  At first I thought 2 weeks would be enough, then it became 3, then 4.  It was no longer awesome; I thought I was done with bike racing, or bike racing was done with me, forever.  Anyway, I finally made a feeble attempt at some cross training and assessed just how much fitness I've lost.  The gym is all filled with mirrors and at one point I saw a reflection and was like, "yikes, that poor lady looks like she's never lifted a weight in her li------Oh,  that's me."  Strangely though, after a few days back, I felt so much better that I had to figure out what was going on:

Off-season cupcake abuse taking its toll...

This study found that people with substance abuse problems could increase serotonin not only through exercise, but through the suggestion of positive ideas.  Sweet, does that mean that not only is lifting weights helpful in warding off the crazy, but my superconfident gym mixtape is somehow uplifting?  Maybe so; Charlie once said I had a gangster walk after returning from the gym (and although it's just as likely that I was limping from overdoing it, I attribute that swagger to a positive self-image).  Training expert Joe Friel has recently discussed the importance of confidence for athletes (if you're in a hurry just skip to his last paragraph). 

But I have no idea whether a few days back into (some semblance of) training can really make a difference, so I consulted trusted spiritual guide and former spin teacher Kevin Greene.  Wait, what?  Oh yeah, Kevin is also a licensed psychotherapist, and he's offered some pretty crucial life advice over the past couple years, like, "hey you, get a bike."

KW: Do you recommend exercise to your clients who are dealing with negative feelings?

KG: For 26 years I have advocated exercise for clients.  This includes my early days working in an inpatient substance abuse clinic when I would recommend exercise and be looked at (by staff and colleagues) like I had 3 heads.  (Please note that in 2011 every substance abuse clinic of note has a physical exercise component.)  Self-image and self-esteem are in some respects misnomers because so much of what we believe about ourselves is formed by others...(for a woman I suspect this is doubly the case).  In exercise we finally are able to turn the corner on that problem, by creating a platform of control.  In addition to this the joining with others (always a component to a healthy self) can be enhanced by group exercise.

KW: So I’ve been lazy lately, as my off-season cross training plans for running and weight lifting were compromised by injury.  And instead of finding a different cross-training method, I just sat on my ass for a month.  Is there some psychological value to this downtime, even though in the end it made me feel like crap (please say yes)?

KG: As Aristotle said, the struggle for the "golden mean" or golden middle is essential.  Excercise like fire can be wonderful and warming but out of its proper enclosure can be devastating.  Not pushing to excess is vital in the pursuit of changing exercise into "lifesport."  I have seen many come and go in our sport, and most that go are not forced out by injury but leave because their lives have become unbalanced.  That which does not please will not be done long, and if done with no pleasure, what's the point?  So there is a huge advantage to time off..and a huge advantage to time on- especially if that "time on" is self-affirming.

Sports Nutrtition Hacked: Recipes

Mackerel Tacos with pickled bitter melon salsa, coconut foam, and roasted 

squash with goji berry sauce...and bitter melon martinis.  

This week I scoured Philly's Chinatown to find inexpensive alternatives to popular athletic supplements.  My finds, along with a cost and nutritional comparison, are on GamJams today.  To make these things more edible, my friend Jerry and I attempted to cook with them.  Here are some recipes we came up with:

Mackerel Tacos:

As discussed on GamJams, the canned mackerel that I bought in Chinatown is high in omega 3 fatty acids, but unlike gelcap supplements, provides a source of protein, is delicious (well, maybe just OK)  in fish tacos, and also makes a decent holiday ornament.  This stuff, with bones and all, was pretty gross directly out of the can.  Combined with  bitter melon salsa, coconut foam, and goji berry sauce, it was definitely healthy, and well, edible I suppose.

• 1 can mackerel or other oily nasty fish that is otherwise inedible
• 4 corn tortillas
• some shredded cabbage
• 1 blob of greek yogurt
• cumin powder
• minced garlic
• sriracha or other hot sauce
• lemon juice
• salt

Cook the tortillas in a skillet with some canola oil until they're somewhat crispy.  Take them out and put the fish in the skillet.  The fish is already cooked, so just heat it up til it's less nasty.  Mix the cabbage with the greek yogurt and all the other stuff.  Put it in the tortillas with some of the fish.  Serve with bitter melon salsa and coconut foam.

  

 Bitter Melon Salsa:

• 1 bitter melon, pithy stuff scraped out and cut into really thin half circles.
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 peach or apple, chopped
• 1 tomato, chopped
• white onion, chopped
• cilantro, chopped
• some lime juice

Shake up the vinegar, honey, water, and salt in jar, add the melon slices, and pickle them in the fridge for at least a day (yeah, I know that's a long time; maybe you should have read the recipe before starting).  When the pickles are ready, put all the other ingredients in a bowl, chop the pickles and add as much of it as you can stand to the salsa. 

Coconut Foam:

OK, the texture on this stuff didn't work out as planned; I got more of a runny coconut spooge.  I wouldn't recommend attempting this recipe, but here it is anyway:

• 1c coconut water
• 1/2 tsp xanthan gum
• 1 tbsp sugar

Mix on high speed in a mixer or blender til it's sticky and gross.

Roasted Squash with Goji Berry Sauce:

This was the most non-nasty creation of the evening.  Pretty good in fact. 

• 1 squash (I used acorn)
• 1/2 c dried goji berries
• 1c water
• 3tbsp honey
• 1/4c apple cider vinegar
• sriracha
• cumin 
• cinnamon

Poke the squash with a knife a few times and roast it at 350f until it's kinda squishy (45ish minutes).  Boil the berries with the water and honey til the water is reduced by half.  Add the vinegar and everything else, and puree in the blender.  Cut up the squash and serve it with the sauce.

  

Bitter Melon Martinis:

Made with Bluecoat gin, these martinis were, well, just OK.  But I don't blame Philly's local gin...maybe the bitter melon is an acquired taste...

• 1 shot gin, preferably Bluecoat, but you can use Hendricks and you won't be any less of a person
• 1/2 shot dry vermouth
• 1 tsp bitter melon pickle juice
• 1 slice pickled bitter melon

Combine everything with some ice cubes, strain, and garnish with the pickled bitter melon.  If you can finish this drink (or really any of these recipes), you can suffer like a world-class athlete.  Cheers.

PS If you're wondering what goji berries, bitter melon, and all these crazy ingredients have to do with sports nutrition, check out my rationale here.  



Safety vs. Specificity

Ok, moving on past the post-race season "Cyclists Gone Wild" phase, Ky came to visit and we ushered in the more subdued "loafer-wearing, cupcake-baking, and quietly studying" phase of the fall.  With all-night partying being sooo last week, the ample daylight allowed for some serious mileage, and our renewed nerdiness brought on this safety inquiry: 

The thing that bugs me most about group rides is the way people call out obstacles.  Not that it's the most pressing safety issue in the world; maybe it's just funny, but the specificity with which some people point things out is absurd.  Beyond the usual "Car Up," "Hole," and "Slowing," today I also heard stuff like, "Car back...no wait...it's a truck...OMG YOU GUYS!  TRUCK BACK!!"  What exactly were we supposed to do with the additional information?  Do they think we're all like, "Oh, a truck?  The chassis is higher than that of the aforementioned car and could run me over rather than throw me over the hood, hmmm...I think I'll move to the side of the"...errrr...splat.  I've also heard people correct each other, like "walker up," then, "no dude, that's a jogger!"  It'll probably produce the same crappy result if you hit a walker going 4mph or a runner going 8. 

So next time, maybe we should just stick with a few basic alerts.  If there's no easy description, then the universal, "Gahhh!!" would probably incite an appropriate level of caution.


Ky and I made fortune cupcakes with overly specific alerts...



I laughed, I cried, I almost hurled

If you just finished up road season and don't have any 'cross on your agenda, you're probably going through that weird yet exciting post-racing-bender-phase.  Since this is only my second off-season, I don't have a good grasp of what to expect for this phase, how long it should last, or how much discipline to use.  Luckily there's advice from fitness experts to help, but more on that in a sec.

Last year after road season I felt strangely angry.  Every morning I'd go to grab my bike for a ride, look at it for a second and think, "I'll show them!" and then put on my running shoes instead.  And I'm no runner, so really I just threw on some random sneakers, but more importantly, whom was I showing, and what?  I ran a lot of angry miles last fall, finally ending up with an achilles injury (according to the doctor it was due to the aforementioned sneakers), and unable to run or even ride for a few weeks. 

This year I prepared to be that angry runner again, scheduling a running shoe fitting and even planning to temporarily cut myself off from friends if I became an intolerable jerk.  Surprisingly, I'm not angry, just bummed from finally acknowledging the numerous personal crises that I managed to ignore during road season.  But mostly I'm fed up with the self-discipline of training, so I came up with a list of "undisciplined" things to do:

• Stay up late (done)
• Eat a hamburger (not yet)
• Watch the Phillies' post-season (unfortunately, that was done all too quickly)
• Have a dinner party (done x2)
• Cook something elaborate (done, see above)
• Go for long rides without worrying about a training agenda (done)
• Go to a show at Johnny Brenda's (done)
• All-night party (saturday night was really close...still feeling ill)
• Go running (nope- kinda banged up my ribs in Boston; still hurts to run)
• Quit the leg press and squats for a while, do arms instead just for funsies (OK, I did only the quitting part; upper body still hurts see above)



The Besnard Lakes at Johnny Brendas

 So that sums up the first two weeks of the off-season.  Not a bad time, but it looks like according to the experts, I might be a little too far off the training wagon.  For this 1- to 6-week "Transition Period" as Joe Friel calls it, Friel suggests that athletes stay active with unstructured training in non-cycling sports, and he also warns to not be a "couch potato."  Oh.  Speaking of potatoes, Racing Weight author Matt Fitzgerald suggests that athletes gain no



Bread pudding recipe from Philly restaurant Standard Tap

 more than 8% of their race weight in the off-season.  No comment.  So I guess it's time to add a little structure to the "unstructured" training plan, lest this off-season become more tragic than the Phillies post-season. 

Hillbilly Hustle Observed

“I wish real sports were this fun,” said a rather tipsy Charlie Z. as he handed hot dog feeds to oncoming racers.  The Hillbilly Hustle ‘cross race was fun indeed, the most fun I’ve ever had at a race (possibly because I was working the food tent rather than racing).  As for whether cyclocross is a sport, I disagree with my wiener-wielding friend.  "Sport" is one of those terms that people can't agree on, like “beauty,” “art,” and “undertraining.”   Most dictionaries associate sport with athleticism, skill, or jest though, and I observed all three at the Hustle.

Athleticism: The women’s and men’s A races were both won by going fast.  Really fast.  Kristin Gavin had a commanding solo finish, while the men provided an epic display of athleticism too.  The top three finishers worked together for most of the race, with Cameron Dodge edging out Cole Oberman and John Minturn for the win.
 

Leaders of the men's A race

Skill: A roadie like me can’t even comprehend the handling skills required for dismounts and awkward situations like clawing your way up “Mt. Doom” with 90 dudes breathing down your neck.  Some people had no problem clearing the barriers and hopping right back on the bike.  This guy took a different approach, bunny hopping the barriers without dismounting.  It didn’t help him get ahead, but it did bring him popularity with the crowd, even as his competitors passed him.

 Jest: Anyone who’s willing to get this messy probably has a sense of humor.  Here’s David Lowe of Human Zoom, being quite the good "sport" after crashing on his face.  And this lady is just plain disgusting.  Sarah Iepson, winner of the women’s B race, had an interesting take on the sounds emanating from her muddy brakes.

So if those are the criteria defining "sport," I'd venture to say that 'cross might be even more of a sport than road racing is.  As for me and Charlie, we'd better get some 'cross bikes right away.  We've definitely got the jest part down, (ok absolutely no skills), and maybe some lingering athleticism from road season.  It won't last much longer if we keep watching cross races from the food tent though...

All my Hillbilly Hustle photos are here.

TD Bank Mayor's Cup: And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a...

...downed rider.  And with the free lap rule having expired, that's how road season 2011 ended.  Five minutes earlier than expected, in a pileup.

And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?  Several events, both strange and awesome, led to the pileup.  Starting with the awesome, I got to race Mayor's Cup with a really fast Canadian team, P-K Express/HNZstrategic.com.  The team arrived in Boston the night before the race, and director Chris gave me some pointers on how to overcome my pack-shyness for the race.

The next day, the 60-minute crit started at a fast pace, and I held the pack positioning we had discussed. A few laps into the race though, the pace slowed and the pack would string out and then bunch up.  I knew where to be and had the fitness to get there, but I didn't have the confidence or pack skills to stay put.  I kept moving up to the front when things would get fast, then when we slowed and bunched up, I'd give my spot up too easily.  Sue was at the front in good position.  With three to go, the pace picked back up.  Finally comfortable in the pack, I charged to the front.  Coming around to the start with two to go, a rider hit something in the pavement (I think?) and went down.  Others in front of me piled on, and my life flashed before my eyes.  Luckily part of that life included the team CAWES crashing drills, so I did a well-rehearsed tuck and roll, landing unscathed in a pile with the likes of Kacey M, Lindsay B, and several other amazing riders.  And although crashing sucks, I was proud to be even a measly schmear of mayo in that talent sandwich.  Luckily everyone was able to walk away, but I ceremonially stopped my timer, pronouncing Road Season 2011 officially dead.  Meanwhile, with no teammates left, Sue single-handedly took an amazing 9th place, outsprinting last year's race winner.

So, with much of 2011 lost due to illness, unconsciousness, flooding, and other mishaps, it seems fitting to have lost those last five minutes of Mayor's Cup.  Same as it ever was. 

Packing up for the race.  Jade was already warmed up for the children's race.

Green Mountain Stage Race

Veronique Fortin, 1, Sue Palmer-Komar, 2, Me, 3

OK, you might ask what's so horrible about a podium ending.  There were some scary things, like destructive flooding and a field sprint crash, but in this case I'm referring to my horrific screams while racing.  I first attributed this to lost fitness after an injury, but the screaming persists.

Stage 1/ITT: The Jamie Lee Curtis Sob
The time trial was a 5.7-mile course with a few miles of climbing, then a descent, then a steep little rise at the end.  I set my goal at a sub-16-minute effort.  I went really hard at the beginning, constantly passing my 30-second woman, only to be re-passed by her.  I let out a few whimpers as it began to hurt.  I'm pretty sure my 30-second woman heard it, and maybe it was the awkward moaning that convinced her to let me get away, but I was on my own by the time the course started to descend.  By the time I hit the final dip, I sounded like I was crying, like Jamie Lee Curtis being chased up the stairs in Halloween.  The sobbing paid off; I beat my time goal and took 3rd place in the stage.


Stage 2/Circuit Race: The Psycho Shower Scream

 The circuit race was horrific indeed, with a screaming descent down the flood-damaged pavement of Route 17, and a very squirrely field sprint.  There was a lot of deliberate elbowing as we jockeyed for the false flat finish.  At one point I took a pretty aggressive elbow to the butt and lost balance.  Certain that I would crash and die, I let out a blood-curdling scream.  Somehow I remained upright with everyone else, and I settled in for the sprint.  A few minutes later, there was another noise, and several riders went down.  At this point I was terrified and didn't have the wherewithal to sprint, let alone avoid danger, so I found a more trustworthy wheel than my own and followed suit.  Lindsay took a really aggressive line through the mess, securing an awesome 2nd place.  Grateful to be alive, I salvaged 10th and kept my GC standing.

Stage 3/App Gap: The Hyperventilating Zombie Chase
Stage 3 was rerouted due to flooding, exchanging last year's climb of Middlebury Gap for Duxbury Hill.  The field stayed together until the final climb, with the exception of Anna's badass solo break, which stuck from beginning to end.  Without much at stake in the GC, the pack stayed together til the base of App Gap.  1st and 2nd place tore up the climb, and I stayed on their wheels until the others were out of sight.  After yesterday's sprint debacle, I didn't have enough lead on 4th and 5th to risk ascending in the pack.  With about 6 switchbacks to go, I lost the wheel of 2nd place and continued to hyperventilate up the mountain alone.  Looking behind me, some others came into sight, including 4th place.  We were all moving so slowly, it was like one of those cheesy zombie movies when everyone is huffing and puffing, and it makes no sense that they can't outrun the frustratingly slow zombies.  I looked down at my speed: 4.8mph.  I coughed and wheezed my way to finish line safety, securing 4th in the stage and adding to the GC cushion.

Stage 4/Crit: Canceled Race and Lunch Assassination
As soon as we arrived in Burlington, the skies opened up and the streets began to flood.  With the race now canceled, the only horror victim of the day would be our lunch as we inhaled it.  (Thanks to Jon's friend Kianna for taking in some hungry and soaked racers!)  In spite of the cancellation, I finished with 3rd place in the GC, and enough frustration to go really hard in next year's crit. 

The Jock Doctrine

Dow Jones Industrial Average, past month, from cnn.com

My TSB (yellow line), past month, from trainingpeaks.com

Coincidence or conspiracy?  My training stress balance looks suspiciously like the Dow, after I returned to a training plan from two consecutive injuries. 

The Dow part is way over my head, but I can explain the training part: an injured athlete's acute training load (my July ATL consisted of working, napping, and baking delicious pastries) is going to be much lower than their chronic load.  The athlete will start to gain "freshness" and eventually lose fitness.  I managed to do some of each, judging by my initial personal-record-setting short-term power, but my eventual huffing and puffing like Darth Vader after riding an epic...um..ten feet or so.  Joe Friel's Training Bible says that two or more weeks off the bike would require a return to Base period.  High-volume, low-intensity endurance work?  That's where I'm a viking, but a return to Base in August would allow for a peak in 'cross season, or maybe next year...so I guess it's time to cram the volume and intensity into a couple weeks before recovering and racing.  Hello pain cave.  It's been a while. 

Here's hoping for some creative destruction in the next few weeks of training, or I'm screwed...but more importantly, let's hope the Dow and my TSB stop looking alike, or we're all screwed.

*Disclaimer: I have a belief that every time someone talks publicly about their power data, a kitten is killed somewhere.  My apologies for the kitten casualty associated with this post.