Grand Prix Cycliste de Gatineau

photos from Ottawa Sun

After Saturday's time trial and a rest day of carb consumption in Ottawa's Little Italy district, we lined up for Monday's 83-mile/13-lap road race.  With the finish being just under 3:30, women's racing is definitely getting faster.  But it's also getting suspiciously cutesy.  Don't be fooled by all the adorable gear though; these riders will rip your legs off. 

Team Specialized-Lululemon set a comfortable pace, which allowed the group to stay really tight.  My teammates Suzie and Laura were moving around the pack like ninjas, but I was terrified as usual.  Sometimes when I get really scared, I try to think about something else, so my mind started to wander: 

When did everyone get these cute sportswear sponsors, and does it make me a lesser athlete if my post-race lounge pants aren't as adorable and butt-flattering as theirs?  (OK, there are more significant factors making me a lesser athlete, but at that point I was terrified and couldn't focus.)  Is the smiling cartoon kitten on that lady's kit supposed to fool me into thinking she won't crush me in a sprint?

The pack was super tight on the flat sections

So there I was getting all distracted, when team director Chris screamed at me to take a bottle.  Oh.  I was running out of drinks but hoping to finish the race without braving the feed zone again.  Suddenly I was freezing cold, even though it was like a zillion degrees Celsius.  Bizarre.  Then my leg locked up all weird for a second.  It went away and I caught back on.  This kept happening and I kept ignoring it til the last lap on a technical descent.  Scared of being paralyzed on a screaming downhill, I let the pack go.  Damn.  I rolled in 3 minutes after Ina Teutenberg's awesome sprint win, bagging 64th place and a bottle of water from Chris.  I chugged it and felt fine again.  Damn.

Lessons Learned:
1. Don't get distracted by Team Precious Moments-Bubble Yum's matching carbon fiber hair scrunchies.  Focus on yourself and how you're feeling.
2. The feed zone may be scary, but the things that happen when you skip it could be even scarier.
3. I do not like poutine.  But I gave it a fair try.  Or two.  Or five.
4. Even though I was scared out of my gourd, racing with world-class athletes was a really cool experience.
5. If anyone would like to ditch the whole cutesy thing and start Team Carhartt-Slim Jim, I'd be your biggest fan.

Team PK Express-Biemme at the pre-race presentation

Grand Prix Cycliste de Gatineau, Chrono-Gatineau

I missed the group photos while Stefan and Pierre were jimmying the keys out of my car...oops

I don't know what any of that means, but who cares, everything sounds fancy when it's in French.  For example, "vingt-six."  My time trial result may not have been the fastest, but it definitely sounds fancy that way.  So for the 11.4-mile  wait no, 18.4 kilometer (metric is fancier) time trial, we went off in one-minute intervals.  ONE-MINUTE INTERVALS!  I've been in events with 30-second intervals, and I accidentally sent off riders in 10-second intervals at an event once (this is why I should never be a race official), but one-minute intervals is legit, and it's also way harder to pass the rider ahead of you.  But I did.  Because I'm fancy.  Oh and BTW, I scraped a shoe for the first time while overcooking a corner.  Cause I'm a badass and/or a bad cornerer.

Hello road, don't let my shoe hit you in the asphalt...

Further contributing to today's fanciness was the amazing race support.  P-K Express team director Chris got my TT bike all blinged out while I was getting ready.  Then during the race, he followed me in the team car (which is really just his own van, but whatver)!  Friggin fancy.  And I can't think of a more motivating reason to haul ass than being followed by an unmarked white van.  I later got to ride in said van and watch my teammate Suzie crush the hills. 

Anyway, I plan to spend tomorrow's rest day celebrating my birthday with some snails and poutine.  But right now it's time to hit the piscine with some teammates.

Full ITT results here.

Tour of the Dragons 2012

While Battenkill was all about learning new racing vocabulary, Tour of the Dragons was more of a visual experience:

consenting adults I suppose...

1. The Rainbow Coalition

We experimented with how many riders we could fit into a small Vermont motel room.  Representing 3 teams, 3 cities, and 4 religions (and yes, uncomfortable religious discussions were had) we spent most of our recovery time giggling,  tire- and cassette-changing, and trying to combine the acts of napping and eating.  All this experimental-polychromatic-kumbaya was dropped when we were racing though, and we focused on our own team pursuits.

2. The Pink Train Pink Nightmare!
Stage 1/Time Trial: Having finally gotten a bike tune-up and a new chain, I had no excuses but to do my best, landing 9th place.  Our teammate Beth laid down an incredible 28:52, beating last year’s winning time and taking 2nd place.

Stage 2/Crit: I spent the first half of the crit scared out of my gourd and cowering at the back.  Finally something clicked for me, and I moved up to join the "Pink Train" as we were deemed by the announcer.  We worked hard at the front, and Jenny took 3rd in the sprint finish, securing the second Farm Team podium of the weekend. 

Stage 3/Road Race: The first climb split the group up, and the yellow jersey soloed away.  4 QOM climbs later, we settled in for the sprint that would decide second and third place.  I moved to the front to help our GC rider, but my nerves got the best of me and I was squished to the back.  The rest of the Pink Train was unaffected by such squishing, and Beth secured 3rd place in the road race, and 3rd in the final GC. 

Weekend Metrics:

Miles: 94

Feet climbed: 4500
Farm Team podium appearances (Beth and Jenny): 4

Number of times I was mistaken for a junior and told my gearing was illegal: 1

Number of times Ky was fed ice cream by a stranger: 1

Servings of ice cream I fed myself: 7

My own GC place: No idea

Number of times I thought about quitting racing: 0

"Battenkizzle" and other spring classics terminology

Me, Audrey, Beth, and Kate after the race

The women's pro/1/2 race at Tour of the Battenkill was all about new vocabulary.  "Breakaway," and "attrition" are terms that, for better or for worse, don't always come into play in women's races.  "Dirt" is also rare for us roadies, so rare in fact that I started counting down the days til I get a mountain bike...

Anyway, back to the attrition-fest,  I mean race: after Jeff Cup's epic chain-dropping fail, I was careful to adjust my shifting when putting on the race wheels.  The first 10 miles were super-smooth: the pavement, the peloton, even my shifting.  It was pandemonium in my head though; the tightness of the pack and the occasional elbow were enough to keep me cowering at the back.  There was an attack on the first climb, and I panicked and stomped on the pedals while shifting.  Crap.  The chain came all the way off, but this time the race support moto came to help.  They fixed it and gave me a push as I started up the climb alone.  I picked up some dropped riders along the way, and 6 miles later we caught the main pack.  I sat in for a few miles and tried to catch my breath.

Photo by Barry Koblenz/BaseTwelvePhoto

 I was still recovering when another move was made, and I quickly found myself in the chase group.  With some talented sprinters in the chase, and some of my own teammates up the road, my job was now to keep our chase group from catching the pack.  Some people yelled at me to pull, but I clung to the back like a dingleberry.  In spite of my non-cooperation, we caught the pack around mile 50, this time with a few strong riders out of sight.  We settled in for the field sprint, and I got spooked as usual by the tight pack.  Farm Team took 16, 17, 18, 24, 39, and 47.  The amazing climber Veronique Fortin won in a breakaway of 5 riders.  On the way home, Thea counted down the days til the next dirt-free, sprinterly crit (I better brush up on pack handling ASAP).   

Important Battenkizzle take-away:

• I'm excited to be on this team, and finally excited about racing too.
• I need to get my bike fixed.
• Apparently, I like dirt.  A lot.
• When can we do this again?!

I later washed my face in a gas station bathroom...

Jeff Cup 2012: I'm kind of a big deal.



I don't fix dropped chains with my face, but I always end up looking that way...

There are two ways to finish a race alone: one is glorious, and the other is well...what you make of it.  Speaking of twos, coming into Jefferson Cup, I had identified two acceptable outcomes to keep me on the racing/training bandwagon: 1. to have a good enough finish that I'd be excited to keep racing, or 2. to have a frustrating enough finish that I'd be excited to keep racing.  Let's just say I finished alone, and I achieved one of those acceptable outcomes...

That's right ladies, I took my first DFL, and it was glorious.  I had my own moto, my own pace car (OK it was probably just some random family on their way to return curtains at Pottery Barn, since I was outside of the rolling enclosure), and my own photographers (I think the people snapping up shots thought I was off the front of the next race, but whatever). 

Here's how this monumental finish occurred: we started really slow, and I got all spooked every time the pack would bunch up.  I thought about quitting bike racing, this time even cooking up some specific plans on what I might do for exercise instead.  The pace picked up in the last 20 miles, and I was briefly excited about racing.  Then with 2k to go, without even shifting, I somehow dropped my chain and couldn't pedal it back on.  I hopped off and fixed it, then executed the most glorious solo finish ever, hauling ass as if I might catch the pack.  I briefly considered stopping short of the finish line to avoid the DFL in favor of a DNF, but 2012 is not about vanity.  It's about being the Lanterne Rouge and liking it, so I sprinted through the finish line like the big deal that I am.  Seriously though, the ABRT women ripped everyone's legs off and made it a great race.  Really amazing work.  Now to get this chain grease off my face...

The R Word

Every good housewife knows that months containing the letter R are good for two things: oysters, and long zone 2 rides.  Well, I plan to live it up since we've only got one R month left, and for many of us cyclists, that other R-word has already started.  You know the word I mean, the one that gives you jitters and compels you to spend your whole paycheck on wheels.  

Goodbye delicious bivalves, hello anaerobic efforts...

I can't even say the word, not because it gives me jitters or an upset stomach, or any of that other stuff that means you actually care.  I just hate the R word.  I resent it so much that I want to quit.  Last year I gave it everything: all of my vacation time, resources, relationships, certain uses of my left arm, and a good chunk of my frontal lobe.  In return, the R word gave me a few good results, some badass-looking pictures from moments that I can't even remember, and some fitness that I proceeded to throw down the drain in October.  So the R word can screw off.  The problem is, exercise is important, and instead of quitting this whole cycling thing and switching to another liberal elite endurance sport that I will eventually resent just as much, I might as well continue to flounder along in the one for which I have accumulated all this fancy equipment.

Anyway, I guess I'll figure out what there is about the R word that I can still look forward to, since it's fast-approaching and I can't expect (nor do I want badly enough to try for) the same results as last year.  So here are some side effects of the R word that are undeniably awesome:

• Road trips with friends
• Coffee
• Rocking out to your warmup mixtape
• Chillaxing with your cooldown mixtape
• Recovery shakes 
• Strange tan lines that make you feel special in some misunderstood way
• Philly water ice (trust me there are more justifiable opportunities for consuming sugar if you R than if you don't R)

OK, hopefully those reasons are enough to keep me on the R word wagon, and if all else fails, I think my parents have a pair of my old rollerblades sitting in their basement.  Renewing UCI water ice license in 3, 2, 1...

I've Made It in Life

I named her Sheena, and yes, she is a punk rocker.

One of the many lists in my head contains criteria for having "arrived" at some great place in life.  It's full of normal desirable things, like "home ownership," "feel good about myself," "petting zoo," and other stuff, both thing- and relationship-related.  Realistically, I figured the achievement of any one criterion would be good enough to count as "living the dream."  And since 2012 is all about making definitive and unsupported claims, I'll just come out and say it: I've made it. I got a time trial bike. 

I went to Elite yesterday to discuss the distant possibility of getting one.  You know, so we could figure out the ideal dimensions, in abstract preparation for riding off into the sunset on my aero machine, next to my life partner, a pink magenta unicorn.  So when I got to the shop, David and Max had mocked up a bike.  It was sparkly.  I got on it and pedaled, and they intermittently switched things out- saddles, aerobars, spacers, etc.  Since the mockup had no shifters, I was at Max's mercy to put the chain into a reasonable cog...ouch!  The whole time people were coming in and out of the shop...my buddy Alfonso, my dear friend Ashdizzle.  Elite is like Cheers, except instead of being like, "Heyyyyy buddy," you're choking out some meager greeting as Max puts you into a harder gear or David makes you do some difficult therapeutic exercises.  Anyway, I had no expectation of getting a TT bike right away, but the fit was perfect.  But since 2012 is all about doing whatever I want, when I want, I'm not actually sure that the achievement of this "monumental goal" is really that important.  Maybe the more remarkable part is the amazing and knowledgeable friends who helped make this happen.  Or maybe it's just the sparkly paint...

Recovery Eats: Green Eggs & Yam

I recently posted about an ongoing recovery crisis, and how the timing of athletic training could affect muscle repair.  With more careful adherence to the "recovery clock,"...well ok, and adding a week of unplanned recovery to my schedule, things are getting better.  After some improvement from these schedule tweaks, but still unprecedented soreness, yep, and the workouts I'm doing are NOT unprecedented so I still attribute this to getting old, I thought I'd take a more rigorous look at recovery nutrition:

This study showed a decrease in perceived soreness and an increase in power for athletes who took in protein and carbs directly after a workout, and 24 hours later.  So it sounds like the timing of short-term recovery nutrition is similar to the timing of rest that was suggested in the last post.  I also wanted to know if all proteins and carbs are created equal.  And to prevent wasting your time, I'll let you know that I didn't find a definitive study on the single "best" protein and carb for recovery.  So stop reading now.  Anyway, now that no one is reading, note to self, here are the recipes for those yummy but oddly colored treats you recently made:

I would did like them
in a house with a mouse

Green Egg Tacos: 23g protein/240 calories
Mix this up and cook it like scrambled eggs:

• 4 egg whites (high  PDCAAS )
• 1.5 tbsp algae powder, like spirulina or chlorella (these are also "complete proteins" and contain essential fatty acids)
• 2 tbsp water
• Salt & pepper
• Serve with 2 sprouted corn tortillas (sprouting promotes enzymatic activity, makes amino acids more available, and promotes alkalinity)
• Hot sauce (delicious on food, and decent as embrocation on your legs)

Not recommended for
embrocation or topical
application in general...
unless you're John Boehner
and have run out of spray tan

Orange Yamsicle Shake: 20g protein/277 calories
Put this all in a blender:

• 1 scoop plain whey protein (high PDCAAS, and faster amino breakdown than casein, the other protein in milk)
• 1c baked yam, skin removed and saved for a salad or something (yam promotes alkalinity and contains potassium)
• 1/2 tsp ginger paste or 1/4 tsp dried ginger
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• Some stevia (or sweetener of choice)
• Some water and ice cubes

Linking to: Food Renegade Fight Back Friday

The Recovery Clock

I just finished up a recovery week, and this was the first one that I actually felt like I needed.  Last year, a recovery week  for me was this thing I had to do because Joe Friel said so, but it mostly consisted of endorphin withdrawal and dealing with those pesky once-a-month hassles, like calling my boyfriend or washing my hair.  I didn’t feel the need for a physical break, in spite of having once referred to a questionable limp after lifting…but considering I had just come from an upper body workout, that was probably just the old Post-Gym Gangster Walk.

Now things are different: I get really exhausted and sore after workouts, especially lifting.  A few explanations for this come to mind: A. I let myself get too out-of-shape in my extended downtime, B. I just wasn't going hard enough last year, C. I'm getting old and frail, or D. something about my nutrition is different this year.  OK, let's face the truth: It's probably everything but D.  I just compared yesterday's "food diary" entry to the same date a year ago, and the only difference is a new preference for single-celled algae over last year’s multi-cellular favorites (mostly due to a coupon…ooooh…I’m really pushing the limits of risk and change here). 

Whatever the reason for this soreness is,  it’s probably a good time to look at the science of recovery.  To determine how long this frustrating process has to take, I first looked at short-term recovery.  This study looked at muscle repair after heavy resistance workouts, and it concluded that protein synthesis peaks about 24 hours after ripping one’s legs to shreds, and returns to almost normal within 36 hours.  The authors recommend spacing tough workouts at least a day and a half apart to avoid messing with the rebuilding of busted-ass muscles.  This obviously can’t be observed all the time, due to stage race training, or if you’re one of those triathlon folk, but I suppose it’s a good way to get the most bang for your buck in terms of muscle repair.

For the long-term recovery stuff, I looked to my favorite training guru.  Friel recommends monthly recovery intervals of 5-7 days, to account for that annoying inverse relationship between fatigue and form.  Annually, he recommends one or two “transition” periods lasting from a few days to a few weeks, to rejuvenate the body and mind.  Hmmm…my mind apparently needed a lot of rejuvenation over the fall, so I guess I’m good on that for…um…a decade or so.

Keeping the Faith

No, I'm not going to write a whole post about the most awesome De La Soul song ever.  What I mean to discuss is how to stay on a training plan when things get tough (even though this blog is secretly about '90's hip hop and not really about cycling at all). 

Last year I worked with a coach to improve my sprint.  Once my sprint had improved, I was able to coach myself.  I noticed that some people use coaches to "babysit" them and ensure they'll do their workouts.  "Haha," I thought to myself, "I'll never need a babysitter like those clowns." 

One year later: HELP!  I NEED A BABYSITTER!  I know what to do, but this year I'm not motivated enough to stick with it.  A couple options came to mind to make myself accountable to other people:

1. Hire a coach.  Nope, too expensive, and besides, any resources I might have had for a coach have now been diverted to a therapist.  Maybe that will eventually address this motivational deficiency...
2. Make a training plan consisting of group exercise only.  Hmmm...that could be awesome if your goals are to win Philly's World Championships of Vino Velo group ride or become the bendiest person in Power Yoga class. 
3. Do all lifting workouts with a trainer.  OK, it would obviously be helpful to have someone stand there and yell “You suck," or "You’re a f***ing god,” (depending on whether you’re motivated by self-loathing or narcissism).  In the face of limited resources, I’ve found a good compromise to be a few instructional sessions with Lance, then to stay on his gym schedule once I’m doing the prescribed lifting on my own.  Just the threat of being caught slacking is pretty motivating, but I guess that means I'm stalking my trainer...
3. Acknowledge a deity.  Maybe the thought of some omniscient being (Spaghetti Monster, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy) could be motivating enough to make good choices.  This study found that children were 16% less likely to cheat on tests when told an invisible princess was watching.  OK, this might work assuming you have at least the mental capacity and discipline of a child, and that may not be the case for me...
4. Find some like-minded friends, and be accountable to each other.  OK, I can do that.  Thank you, Google Calendar.


So, to keep our nutrition on track, my friend Ashley and I are sharing a food diary.  And the occasional comment, like "hey man, you're definitely not getting scurvy today," is a motivating reminder that someone actually saw how many servings of grapefruit I ate that day.  It's a lot harder to make bad choices when you know someone's going to make fun of you for it later, although somehow I still manage to make my share of bad choices...

Workouts are being tracked too: several of us have shared training calendars and login info so we can check up on one another.  Is that slightly more work than paying for the "coach" edition and having everyone's workouts show up under one account?  Sure, but it's free, and we get to stick it to the man while monitoring each other's progress. 

So if you need a watchful eye to keep you on track but can't rely on a coach, group rides, or an invisible princess to make you do it, share your goals with your friends.  You're a lot more likely to achieve a goal that you've shared with someone else, and who knows what might happen; His Noodly Appendage often touches those who don't seek it...

Gettin' Crazy with the Cheez Whiz

Athletes must adjust their nutritional intake when the weather turns cold. Conventional changes might be to consume extra calories to account for thermal acclimation, to keep hydrating even if you don't feel thirsty, etc...but when the energy bar in your pocket is frozen solid, your sports drink has turned to slush in spite of the salt, and the Eagles are about to smash the Jets 45-19, it's time for a different source of sports nutrition: the Philly cheesesteak.

Careful, the whiz might drip on your shoe

This nutritional device has a lot to offer shivering athletes, from a high calorie content (that of 3.75 Clif Bars), lots of electrolytes (sodium equivalent of 5.5 Nuun tablets), and most importantly, textural stability at any temperature (thank you sodium alginate).  So before you chip a tooth on your frozen energy bar, just pedal to 9th and Passyunk in South Philly.  On Sunday Amy, Ky, and I ended an epic ride in 27-degree weather at Pat's, where our food demonstrated the thermal properties of a properly procured cheesesteak.  My "whiz witout” was such a textural marvel in spite of the sub-freezing temperatures, I couldn’t help but remark at how drippy it was.  I checked with Amy on her “whiz wit,” and that’s what she said too.  In the end, everyone was satisfied, even Ky with her silly provolone.

So with its nutritional abundance, option to add antioxidant superfood just by saying “wit,” and weather-defying texture, it almost seems like this sandwich was developed specifically for athletes. Is it a coincidence that a cheesesteak is the same diameter as that of a bottle cage?  I think not. 

Disclaimer: The above statements, although true, may not be helpful for the enhancement of body composition or...um...athletic performance whatsoever.  All nutritional comparisons based on information from livestrong.com, however the random sandwich in their picture is not a proper cheesesteak.

This is not a cry for help

It doesn't have to be, at least, because I'm feeling somewhat better.  After road season I took a break from training.  It was awesome.  At first I thought 2 weeks would be enough, then it became 3, then 4.  It was no longer awesome; I thought I was done with bike racing, or bike racing was done with me, forever.  Anyway, I finally made a feeble attempt at some cross training and assessed just how much fitness I've lost.  The gym is all filled with mirrors and at one point I saw a reflection and was like, "yikes, that poor lady looks like she's never lifted a weight in her li------Oh,  that's me."  Strangely though, after a few days back, I felt so much better that I had to figure out what was going on:

Off-season cupcake abuse taking its toll...

This study found that people with substance abuse problems could increase serotonin not only through exercise, but through the suggestion of positive ideas.  Sweet, does that mean that not only is lifting weights helpful in warding off the crazy, but my superconfident gym mixtape is somehow uplifting?  Maybe so; Charlie once said I had a gangster walk after returning from the gym (and although it's just as likely that I was limping from overdoing it, I attribute that swagger to a positive self-image).  Training expert Joe Friel has recently discussed the importance of confidence for athletes (if you're in a hurry just skip to his last paragraph). 

But I have no idea whether a few days back into (some semblance of) training can really make a difference, so I consulted trusted spiritual guide and former spin teacher Kevin Greene.  Wait, what?  Oh yeah, Kevin is also a licensed psychotherapist, and he's offered some pretty crucial life advice over the past couple years, like, "hey you, get a bike."

KW: Do you recommend exercise to your clients who are dealing with negative feelings?

KG: For 26 years I have advocated exercise for clients.  This includes my early days working in an inpatient substance abuse clinic when I would recommend exercise and be looked at (by staff and colleagues) like I had 3 heads.  (Please note that in 2011 every substance abuse clinic of note has a physical exercise component.)  Self-image and self-esteem are in some respects misnomers because so much of what we believe about ourselves is formed by others...(for a woman I suspect this is doubly the case).  In exercise we finally are able to turn the corner on that problem, by creating a platform of control.  In addition to this the joining with others (always a component to a healthy self) can be enhanced by group exercise.

KW: So I’ve been lazy lately, as my off-season cross training plans for running and weight lifting were compromised by injury.  And instead of finding a different cross-training method, I just sat on my ass for a month.  Is there some psychological value to this downtime, even though in the end it made me feel like crap (please say yes)?

KG: As Aristotle said, the struggle for the "golden mean" or golden middle is essential.  Excercise like fire can be wonderful and warming but out of its proper enclosure can be devastating.  Not pushing to excess is vital in the pursuit of changing exercise into "lifesport."  I have seen many come and go in our sport, and most that go are not forced out by injury but leave because their lives have become unbalanced.  That which does not please will not be done long, and if done with no pleasure, what's the point?  So there is a huge advantage to time off..and a huge advantage to time on- especially if that "time on" is self-affirming.

Sports Nutrtition Hacked: Recipes

Mackerel Tacos with pickled bitter melon salsa, coconut foam, and roasted 

squash with goji berry sauce...and bitter melon martinis.  

This week I scoured Philly's Chinatown to find inexpensive alternatives to popular athletic supplements.  My finds, along with a cost and nutritional comparison, are on GamJams today.  To make these things more edible, my friend Jerry and I attempted to cook with them.  Here are some recipes we came up with:

Mackerel Tacos:

As discussed on GamJams, the canned mackerel that I bought in Chinatown is high in omega 3 fatty acids, but unlike gelcap supplements, provides a source of protein, is delicious (well, maybe just OK)  in fish tacos, and also makes a decent holiday ornament.  This stuff, with bones and all, was pretty gross directly out of the can.  Combined with  bitter melon salsa, coconut foam, and goji berry sauce, it was definitely healthy, and well, edible I suppose.

• 1 can mackerel or other oily nasty fish that is otherwise inedible
• 4 corn tortillas
• some shredded cabbage
• 1 blob of greek yogurt
• cumin powder
• minced garlic
• sriracha or other hot sauce
• lemon juice
• salt

Cook the tortillas in a skillet with some canola oil until they're somewhat crispy.  Take them out and put the fish in the skillet.  The fish is already cooked, so just heat it up til it's less nasty.  Mix the cabbage with the greek yogurt and all the other stuff.  Put it in the tortillas with some of the fish.  Serve with bitter melon salsa and coconut foam.

  

 Bitter Melon Salsa:

• 1 bitter melon, pithy stuff scraped out and cut into really thin half circles.
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 peach or apple, chopped
• 1 tomato, chopped
• white onion, chopped
• cilantro, chopped
• some lime juice

Shake up the vinegar, honey, water, and salt in jar, add the melon slices, and pickle them in the fridge for at least a day (yeah, I know that's a long time; maybe you should have read the recipe before starting).  When the pickles are ready, put all the other ingredients in a bowl, chop the pickles and add as much of it as you can stand to the salsa. 

Coconut Foam:

OK, the texture on this stuff didn't work out as planned; I got more of a runny coconut spooge.  I wouldn't recommend attempting this recipe, but here it is anyway:

• 1c coconut water
• 1/2 tsp xanthan gum
• 1 tbsp sugar

Mix on high speed in a mixer or blender til it's sticky and gross.

Roasted Squash with Goji Berry Sauce:

This was the most non-nasty creation of the evening.  Pretty good in fact. 

• 1 squash (I used acorn)
• 1/2 c dried goji berries
• 1c water
• 3tbsp honey
• 1/4c apple cider vinegar
• sriracha
• cumin 
• cinnamon

Poke the squash with a knife a few times and roast it at 350f until it's kinda squishy (45ish minutes).  Boil the berries with the water and honey til the water is reduced by half.  Add the vinegar and everything else, and puree in the blender.  Cut up the squash and serve it with the sauce.

  

Bitter Melon Martinis:

Made with Bluecoat gin, these martinis were, well, just OK.  But I don't blame Philly's local gin...maybe the bitter melon is an acquired taste...

• 1 shot gin, preferably Bluecoat, but you can use Hendricks and you won't be any less of a person
• 1/2 shot dry vermouth
• 1 tsp bitter melon pickle juice
• 1 slice pickled bitter melon

Combine everything with some ice cubes, strain, and garnish with the pickled bitter melon.  If you can finish this drink (or really any of these recipes), you can suffer like a world-class athlete.  Cheers.

PS If you're wondering what goji berries, bitter melon, and all these crazy ingredients have to do with sports nutrition, check out my rationale here.  



Safety vs. Specificity

Ok, moving on past the post-race season "Cyclists Gone Wild" phase, Ky came to visit and we ushered in the more subdued "loafer-wearing, cupcake-baking, and quietly studying" phase of the fall.  With all-night partying being sooo last week, the ample daylight allowed for some serious mileage, and our renewed nerdiness brought on this safety inquiry: 

The thing that bugs me most about group rides is the way people call out obstacles.  Not that it's the most pressing safety issue in the world; maybe it's just funny, but the specificity with which some people point things out is absurd.  Beyond the usual "Car Up," "Hole," and "Slowing," today I also heard stuff like, "Car back...no wait...it's a truck...OMG YOU GUYS!  TRUCK BACK!!"  What exactly were we supposed to do with the additional information?  Do they think we're all like, "Oh, a truck?  The chassis is higher than that of the aforementioned car and could run me over rather than throw me over the hood, hmmm...I think I'll move to the side of the"...errrr...splat.  I've also heard people correct each other, like "walker up," then, "no dude, that's a jogger!"  It'll probably produce the same crappy result if you hit a walker going 4mph or a runner going 8. 

So next time, maybe we should just stick with a few basic alerts.  If there's no easy description, then the universal, "Gahhh!!" would probably incite an appropriate level of caution.


Ky and I made fortune cupcakes with overly specific alerts...



I laughed, I cried, I almost hurled

If you just finished up road season and don't have any 'cross on your agenda, you're probably going through that weird yet exciting post-racing-bender-phase.  Since this is only my second off-season, I don't have a good grasp of what to expect for this phase, how long it should last, or how much discipline to use.  Luckily there's advice from fitness experts to help, but more on that in a sec.

Last year after road season I felt strangely angry.  Every morning I'd go to grab my bike for a ride, look at it for a second and think, "I'll show them!" and then put on my running shoes instead.  And I'm no runner, so really I just threw on some random sneakers, but more importantly, whom was I showing, and what?  I ran a lot of angry miles last fall, finally ending up with an achilles injury (according to the doctor it was due to the aforementioned sneakers), and unable to run or even ride for a few weeks. 

This year I prepared to be that angry runner again, scheduling a running shoe fitting and even planning to temporarily cut myself off from friends if I became an intolerable jerk.  Surprisingly, I'm not angry, just bummed from finally acknowledging the numerous personal crises that I managed to ignore during road season.  But mostly I'm fed up with the self-discipline of training, so I came up with a list of "undisciplined" things to do:

• Stay up late (done)
• Eat a hamburger (not yet)
• Watch the Phillies' post-season (unfortunately, that was done all too quickly)
• Have a dinner party (done x2)
• Cook something elaborate (done, see above)
• Go for long rides without worrying about a training agenda (done)
• Go to a show at Johnny Brenda's (done)
• All-night party (saturday night was really close...still feeling ill)
• Go running (nope- kinda banged up my ribs in Boston; still hurts to run)
• Quit the leg press and squats for a while, do arms instead just for funsies (OK, I did only the quitting part; upper body still hurts see above)



The Besnard Lakes at Johnny Brendas

 So that sums up the first two weeks of the off-season.  Not a bad time, but it looks like according to the experts, I might be a little too far off the training wagon.  For this 1- to 6-week "Transition Period" as Joe Friel calls it, Friel suggests that athletes stay active with unstructured training in non-cycling sports, and he also warns to not be a "couch potato."  Oh.  Speaking of potatoes, Racing Weight author Matt Fitzgerald suggests that athletes gain no



Bread pudding recipe from Philly restaurant Standard Tap

 more than 8% of their race weight in the off-season.  No comment.  So I guess it's time to add a little structure to the "unstructured" training plan, lest this off-season become more tragic than the Phillies post-season.