Dear Bicycle,

It’s been 21 days, 14 hours, and 17 minutes since I Lorena Bobbitted your top tube on a pothole.  Our time apart has been painful, and I hope you'll forgive me for riding another bike at Philly.  Believe me when I say I didn’t enjoy it; I was so torn up I could barely finish.  The other bike is actually in pieces over the whole thing, so I assure you it’s just you and me now.  Although the past few weeks have been a blur of painkillers, passing out on the couch, and smashing you like Pete Townshend wailing on yet another expendable Gibson, I promise that my wild days are over.  I’m so glad to have you back.

Let’s start over. 

The Green Weenie's top tube looks even better than before!  Thank you Aaron Ritz for saving this relationship...