Conservatism + (Lack of) Ethics = A Wussy Win

Tour of Mt. Nebo, climbing to the start/finish

I’m the most conservative rider I know. This is kinda weird for several reasons: sprinting is not my strength, so there’s not much incentive for me to hold back until the finish, I ride for a team that often works hard in races and sees the risks pay off, and I know from training that it’s not until I’ve buried myself in pain that I can become “comfortably numb” and really do my best. I don’t know what keeps me from racing more aggressively, but Tour of Mt. Nebo was no exception.

The 123 field had 3 laps of a short but hilly course (the Garmin said 850 feet per 9-mile lap), and on the first lap a young rider tried to get away. I thought it was too risky to break away, but I didn’t want to let her get away either, so I kept bridging the group back up. The rider got frustrated and turned to me and said, “you call yourself a bike racer?” I figured that pretending to not speak English would be pretty transparent in the middle of shoo-fly pie country, plus I think I had just talked to her in line for the portapottie. I grinned like an idiot and continued to suck wheel until the hills whittled the small field down to just the two of us. With half a lap to go, I took off for the win. Was it ethical of me to ride so conservatively and let another rider destroy herself? I generally don’t use the terms “conservative” and “ethical” in the same sentence, but I think I demonstrated about as much concern for others as the dude at the gym this morning who left 200lbs on the Smith machine in 5lb increments. I admire the young rider's aggression, and I think that willingness to work could do me some good.

Anyway, after that first race, I was feeling pretty guilty and wussy. A hairshirt under my skinsuit might have addressed the former, but I thought hanging in a men’s race might assuage my guilt, make me less of a wuss, and address the training volume predicament posed by the short race. Hanging indeed. I was dropped on the first lap and took 37^th place. Still feel guilty and wussy, but got some training volume (albeit at a self-determined intensity once I was dropped and riding with a couple fellow stragglers). Ho hum.