Grand Prix Cycliste de Gatineau

photos from Ottawa Sun

After Saturday's time trial and a rest day of carb consumption in Ottawa's Little Italy district, we lined up for Monday's 83-mile/13-lap road race.  With the finish being just under 3:30, women's racing is definitely getting faster.  But it's also getting suspiciously cutesy.  Don't be fooled by all the adorable gear though; these riders will rip your legs off. 

Team Specialized-Lululemon set a comfortable pace, which allowed the group to stay really tight.  My teammates Suzie and Laura were moving around the pack like ninjas, but I was terrified as usual.  Sometimes when I get really scared, I try to think about something else, so my mind started to wander: 

When did everyone get these cute sportswear sponsors, and does it make me a lesser athlete if my post-race lounge pants aren't as adorable and butt-flattering as theirs?  (OK, there are more significant factors making me a lesser athlete, but at that point I was terrified and couldn't focus.)  Is the smiling cartoon kitten on that lady's kit supposed to fool me into thinking she won't crush me in a sprint?

The pack was super tight on the flat sections

So there I was getting all distracted, when team director Chris screamed at me to take a bottle.  Oh.  I was running out of drinks but hoping to finish the race without braving the feed zone again.  Suddenly I was freezing cold, even though it was like a zillion degrees Celsius.  Bizarre.  Then my leg locked up all weird for a second.  It went away and I caught back on.  This kept happening and I kept ignoring it til the last lap on a technical descent.  Scared of being paralyzed on a screaming downhill, I let the pack go.  Damn.  I rolled in 3 minutes after Ina Teutenberg's awesome sprint win, bagging 64th place and a bottle of water from Chris.  I chugged it and felt fine again.  Damn.

Lessons Learned:
1. Don't get distracted by Team Precious Moments-Bubble Yum's matching carbon fiber hair scrunchies.  Focus on yourself and how you're feeling.
2. The feed zone may be scary, but the things that happen when you skip it could be even scarier.
3. I do not like poutine.  But I gave it a fair try.  Or two.  Or five.
4. Even though I was scared out of my gourd, racing with world-class athletes was a really cool experience.
5. If anyone would like to ditch the whole cutesy thing and start Team Carhartt-Slim Jim, I'd be your biggest fan.

Team PK Express-Biemme at the pre-race presentation

Grand Prix Cycliste de Gatineau, Chrono-Gatineau

I missed the group photos while Stefan and Pierre were jimmying the keys out of my car...oops

I don't know what any of that means, but who cares, everything sounds fancy when it's in French.  For example, "vingt-six."  My time trial result may not have been the fastest, but it definitely sounds fancy that way.  So for the 11.4-mile  wait no, 18.4 kilometer (metric is fancier) time trial, we went off in one-minute intervals.  ONE-MINUTE INTERVALS!  I've been in events with 30-second intervals, and I accidentally sent off riders in 10-second intervals at an event once (this is why I should never be a race official), but one-minute intervals is legit, and it's also way harder to pass the rider ahead of you.  But I did.  Because I'm fancy.  Oh and BTW, I scraped a shoe for the first time while overcooking a corner.  Cause I'm a badass and/or a bad cornerer.

Hello road, don't let my shoe hit you in the asphalt...

Further contributing to today's fanciness was the amazing race support.  P-K Express team director Chris got my TT bike all blinged out while I was getting ready.  Then during the race, he followed me in the team car (which is really just his own van, but whatver)!  Friggin fancy.  And I can't think of a more motivating reason to haul ass than being followed by an unmarked white van.  I later got to ride in said van and watch my teammate Suzie crush the hills. 

Anyway, I plan to spend tomorrow's rest day celebrating my birthday with some snails and poutine.  But right now it's time to hit the piscine with some teammates.

Full ITT results here.

Tour of the Dragons 2012

While Battenkill was all about learning new racing vocabulary, Tour of the Dragons was more of a visual experience:

consenting adults I suppose...

1. The Rainbow Coalition

We experimented with how many riders we could fit into a small Vermont motel room.  Representing 3 teams, 3 cities, and 4 religions (and yes, uncomfortable religious discussions were had) we spent most of our recovery time giggling,  tire- and cassette-changing, and trying to combine the acts of napping and eating.  All this experimental-polychromatic-kumbaya was dropped when we were racing though, and we focused on our own team pursuits.

2. The Pink Train Pink Nightmare!
Stage 1/Time Trial: Having finally gotten a bike tune-up and a new chain, I had no excuses but to do my best, landing 9th place.  Our teammate Beth laid down an incredible 28:52, beating last year’s winning time and taking 2nd place.

Stage 2/Crit: I spent the first half of the crit scared out of my gourd and cowering at the back.  Finally something clicked for me, and I moved up to join the "Pink Train" as we were deemed by the announcer.  We worked hard at the front, and Jenny took 3rd in the sprint finish, securing the second Farm Team podium of the weekend. 

Stage 3/Road Race: The first climb split the group up, and the yellow jersey soloed away.  4 QOM climbs later, we settled in for the sprint that would decide second and third place.  I moved to the front to help our GC rider, but my nerves got the best of me and I was squished to the back.  The rest of the Pink Train was unaffected by such squishing, and Beth secured 3rd place in the road race, and 3rd in the final GC. 

Weekend Metrics:

Miles: 94

Feet climbed: 4500
Farm Team podium appearances (Beth and Jenny): 4

Number of times I was mistaken for a junior and told my gearing was illegal: 1

Number of times Ky was fed ice cream by a stranger: 1

Servings of ice cream I fed myself: 7

My own GC place: No idea

Number of times I thought about quitting racing: 0